“Truly great people are precious to find, difficult to leave, and hard to forget”

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Being married more than two dozen years to an abusive man brought me many challenges. Those who know what it means to live with someone who could be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde know that you are kept on an endless roller coaster ride. Mine began on our honeymoon. We rented a cabin in the Pocono Mountains, in Pennsylvania. He thought being
close to nature and having me make him breakfast every morning would be his dream fulfilled. I should have known
then that this was going to be a one-sided trip down memory lane; but I was 19 years old and naïve.
On our fi rst morning together, I was dragged from bed by my hair, slapped across the face, and told to make breakfast—because “I am hungry, now.” I stood before him in my white negligee, tears streaming down my face, my body shaking from shock. I hadn’t yet washed sleep from my face and he wanted pancakes—from scratch. I didn’t know how to make pancakes from scratch. All attempts found their way into the trash. Cereal became the breakfast choice.

I was a high school junior when we met. We had gotten engaged for my graduation. Never during our two-year courtship had he displayed a temper. In fact, he was just the opposite—mild-mannered, jovial, and easygoing; everyone liked him—including my mother. When his temper reared its ugly head on that first morning, I was completely taken by surprise. He apologized and I assumed it was a one-time occurrence. I had no idea it would be the beginning of a long, tumultuous road of physical, verbal, and emotional assaults.

Physical abuse escalates. There were many occasions I feared for my life. The worst came the morning he had me by the throat. He had gone into a rage over something one morning before work. I was lifted off the floor by my throat,  helplessly watching as his neck veins pulsated; his face turned crimson, and his eyes bulged. He was so close to my face I could feel his spittle landing on my cheeks. My neck began to crunch under his pressure. Moaning sounds came from me that I’d never heard before. He let go and I slumped to the floor. In my semi-conscious state I felt him pick me up and lay me on a hard, high, cold surface; then I heard the kitchen door open and close, and then silence. I had no idea where I as or how long I’d been lying there. When I came to, I realized I’d been on top of the kitchen table. I scrambled to my feet and called the police, but was told unless I came to the station to file a report, they could not help me. I was in no physical or emotional condition to drive there. He came home that evening as though nothing ever happened.

During our final altercation, he grabbed me and I fell to the floor. He sat on my chest. Gasping for breath, I yelled “If you don’t get off of me right this minute, I will call the police!” He laughed tauntingly, but suddenly sprang up. Something inside me clicked that day and I knew it was over—I was leaving; there was nothing I could do to save the marriage—I had to save myself. I packed my car as full as I could get it with all of my personal belongings, and left the house and everything in it to him. I wanted something much more valuable—the right to be me without fear, and the right to happiness.

image source: unconditional love

MOTHER

We were about 7 and 8 years old at the time, my brother and I.  I don’t know why we did it—the water looked intriguing, the boat inviting and the lake serene. It was on the water’s edge where we had been playing, begging us to climb aboard—to explore.  We found ourselves drifting in a rowboat, in the middle of the lake, helplessly and longingly looking back to shore.  I was filled with remorse, thinking we would never see her again. We didn’t call for help. We didn’t cry. We sat bobbing up and down with the movement of the water. She was preoccupied setting the table, and unpacking the picnic basket.

 The water looked as if it had a million diamonds sprinkled over the top. I was intrigued by the sparkle and the dancing sunlight reflections. I looked at the trees around the lake. They seemed enormous to my childish eyes. I imagined the breezes were tickling the leaves making them laugh; sometimes so hard that one would be set free and flutter to float atop the water like a little green raft.

I had resigned myself to fate when I heard splashing and yelling. I looked up to see her frantically running through the water as fast as she could, pressing against the force of the water.  When she couldn’t touch bottom any longer, she swam to reach us and maneuver the boat back to shore.  She was like a mama bear protecting her cubs—nothing was going to get in her way or stop her.

I was never more thankful to have dry ground under my feet. I don’t remember her yelling at us or any threats to punish us, but whatever the punishment would have been did not matter, I would have gladly taken it, I was just happy to be safely on shore in her arms and care. That experience gave me a healthy fear of the water for a very long time.

After lunch, I remember we were very quiet as she sat in a lawn chair allowing the sun to dry her clothes.

Mother’s often are unsung heroes. They love, protect, serve, teach and give sacrificially. There isn’t much that a mother would not do for her child. So on this Mother’s Day, I’d like to say, thank you Mom, for helping to shape me into the person I have become. I miss you.  And to all mother’s, know that you are appreciated, even when it is not spoken.  You are the glue that holds us all together. Happy Mother’s Day.

Designer Dog Breeds: Teddy Bear Puppies

Sudden onset right knee pain three days prior had sent me to bed with an ice pack, thinking that the ice would decrease any inflammation and I would be on my way.    For three days I slept, applied ice, wrapped my knee in an Ace bandage and was confined to my bed.  Trips to the ladies room were carefully evaluated for necessity; challenging and painful.  By the second night I awoke in the middle of the night with tortuous pain, frightened, alone and no one to call for help. I was unable to walk far enough to get to my car for a drive to the ER. I couldn’t call 911–I had no way let anyone in. They would have had to break down the door, setting off my alarm system.

In my darkest hour, tears rolled down my cheeks. “Lord help me,” I cried. “I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?” Before my tears hit the pillow I was filled instantaneously with calm.  It was as if a lilac scented, Downy softened sheet floated from heaven and enveloped me. My body relaxed, the pain dissipated and I fell asleep.  The next morning I was able to walk well enough to get to the doctor.

When God says, “I will never leave you”, we can count on it. When He says “I will give you my peace,” He means it. And when He says “I’ve got you,” you can believe it.  Even when you feel you do not have anyone or anything to hold on to in your darkest hour–you always have  God–He has you!

MD Anderson Cancer Center

Integrative Medicine Center

May, 2012

Omega 3 Fatty Acids: Their Role in Cancer Prevention and Treatment

By Peiying Yang PhD | Assistant Professor, General Oncology, MD Anderson
and Lorenzo Cohen, PhD | Professor and Director, Integrative Medicine Program
Omega-3 fatty acids (ω-3 FAs) come from two main sources: 1) Eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) are derived from fish and fish oils and 2) Alpha-linolenic acid is abundant in green leafy vegetables, flaxseed and
rapeseed (canola) oils. These essential fatty acids can only come from a healthy diet and cannot be made by the human body. Generally, ω-3 FAs are considered natural anti-inflammatory agents as they help to regulate inflammatory pathways. Extensive research supports the protective role of marine-derived ω-3 FAs in decreasing risk factors for cardiovascular disease, heart attacks and sudden cardiac death. As a result, the FDA has approved
one specific fish oil supplement, Lovaza (containing both EPA and DHA in an ethyl ester form versus the more
common triglyceride form), for the treatment of hypertriglyceridemia (a condition in which triglyceride levels are
elevated). Unlike the beneficial effects of ω-3 FAs in cardiovascular disease, the role of ω-3 FAs for cancer
prevention and treatment remains uncertain.

Most preclinical studies show that ω-3 FAs decrease cancer cell growth and induce apoptosis (programmed cell death) in various cancer types including solid and hematological tumors. Population-based studies have found that fish
consumption is inversely associated with the risk of various malignancies, including lung, colon, prostate,
breast, and pancreatic (i.e., as fish consumption goes up the risk of cancer goes down). Studies comparing people
with prostate cancer to those without prostate cancer suggest marine derived ω-3 FAs may be protective
against aggressive prostate cancer. ω-3 FAs may also be important in helping with symptom control. A recent
study found that high intake of ω-3 FAs was associated with decreased inflammation and lower levels of fatigue
in breast cancer survivors. Population-based studies, however, do not necessarily equate to causation and
clinical trials are needed in this area. One such clinical trial found that the EPA free fatty acids (6 months of
treatment) decreased the formation of colon polyps by 22.6% in people with familial adenomatous polyposis,
who have an increase risk of developing colorectal cancer. Thus, ω-3 FA could potentially prevent cancers, especially
those associated with chronic inflammation including colon, lung, and pancreatic cancer.

To fully evaluate the role of ω-3 FA in cancer management, more rigorous systematic studies need to be conducted. The National Institute for Health is funding a $20 million dollar study to explore if vitamin D and fish oil (EPA and DHA in an ethyl ester form), the VITAL study, can reduce the risk for developing cancer, heart disease, and stroke. This large trial, and many other ongoing clinical trials using other forms of ω-3 FA, will help determine the role of ω-3 FA in cancer prevention and treatment.

Source: MD Anderson – click here for more info

It is your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words.

image: vine2victory

The fear of rejection can be paralyzing.  It can hold us captive causing us to miss opportunities and blessings God has for us.  The fear is very real. It could be that things have happened in our lives that cause us to be extremely cautious about sharing too much of ourselves with others, or that stifles our ability to connect with  someone we are attracted to.  Perhaps it is just too threatening–the fear of being hurt is over-powering, instead we settle for safe, comfortable, convenient relationships.  There is a better way.

As we allow God to heal our hearts and our hurts, we will then have the freedom from within to reach for the golden prize God has for us.  Luke 4:40 says “Everyone was healed who came to be healed.” Ask God to heal your broken heart and your hurts; and  Psalm 147:3 says, ” God heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.”

Don’t let fear of rejection stand in the way of true happiness.  Allow God to heal the hurts, then take a step toward your prize with God’s help.  He promises to be with you and to bless you.  Allow Him to do that, won’t you?

image by: chrisharrison

Filed under: Encouragement Tagged: blessings, broken heart, fear, fear of rejection, hope, hurts, psalm 147, religion, spirituality, true happiness ]]> http://publicrelationswriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/fear-of-rejection/feed/ 0 publicrelationswriter http://publicrelationswriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/what-to-do-when-you-are-lower-than-a-snakes-belly/ http://publicrelationswriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/what-to-do-when-you-are-lower-than-a-snakes-belly/#comments Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:10:11 +0000 publicrelationswriter http://publicrelationswriter.wordpress.com/?p=1625 ]]> Life has a way of sometimes grabbing hold of us and not letting go until we’ve been turned upside down and inside out with worry, fear, or discouragement.  Perhaps you’ve suffered loss–either someone you loved, or something you wanted so badly, but it seemed out of reach, or just as you were reaching for it, someone else grabbed it first.  The truth is, life is hard, and life is not fair, but we do the best we can with what we have and move on, right?

For the most part, that seems true.  But when you have experienced such bone-crushing loss that encapsulates you and threatens to destroy your peace,  hope for the future and your very existence, then pat answers about picking yourself up and dusting yourself off do not work.  When everything within you screams desolation, you can dust all you want, but the dust remains.  I’ve had those kinds of days–days when I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and just stay there until hell froze over; probably you have too.  We all have periods of ebbing and flowing; good times and bad.

But how do we get out of the funk when we feel lower than a snake’s belly?  What has helped me most during those times is to find some positive thought I can cling to–something that gives me comfort and hope. Today I was reading Psalm 139.   I love the Psalms because they are so practical.  The writers of the Psalms expressed themselves with such gut-twisting honesty, that most of us can relate to them.   Part of Psalm 139 says: O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You both precede and follow me. You placed you hand of blessing on my head. …How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable!

Isn’t it comforting to know that the God of the universe thinks about each of us, individually? He knows where we are currently, and where we are going.  He places His hand on our heads and blesses us.  He wants us joyful and happy, fulfilled and satisfied.  He wants us to prosper and do well,  successful and to have meaningful, supportive, loving relationships.

Knowing that God is not against me or punishing me when I am going through hard times, removes some of the stress of the situation.  Although the circumstances have not changed, my focus and center of attention have shifted from the problem to the problem solver.  Only then can I cling to His promises and trust Him to do what He says He will do. 2 Chronicles 20:15 says – Do not be afraid or dismayed, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.  Now I can drop my problems in God’s lap knowing He will take care of it–because He said He would. It’s not easy to let go and let God–if you can’t, ask Him to help you–He will.